Heart Failure Page 7

  She fetched her laptop from her desk and carried it to the window seat overlooking the garden. As a teenager, she had spent most evenings here, planning her future. Before she sat down, she pulled the crumpled envelope from her pocket. A ridiculous lampshade with penguins juggling balls in all colors of the rainbow cast a soft light. It wasn’t so bright as to disturb Ella, but it provided enough light to read.

  She straightened the paper with her hand. It was addressed to Lena Walker at a different address in Seattle. She guessed this was the apartment she’d had to move out of. What was more interesting, however, was the part of the return address that was still legible. Someone had written to her from a women’s correctional institute in Illinois. The name of the sender had been damaged by the opening. No matter how she held the paper or squinted, the lower halves of the letters didn’t make any sense to her.

  Jess typed the name of the prison into the search bar on her browser and clicked the link that appeared. The website looked professional, with nicely done pictures. They even had a page where you could look up current and former inmates and their crimes by name, number, or date of birth. She hadn’t known something like that existed. She typed in Walker but hesitated before pressing send. Did she really want to know if Lena was registered there?

  Even if the information was public, it felt like a violation of privacy. But Lena could be a con artist or thief who preyed on old widows like her mother. If she was honest with herself, Jess doubted that theory, though. What criminal worked three jobs?

  She looked out the window to the garden house and moved a bit on the seat, trying to find a more comfortable position. Had the window seat always been this narrow, or had her mom changed it during the remodeling of the house?

  Darkness had fallen since she’d come inside, and the lights in the garden house were on. They shone golden, a warm contrast to the pale light provided by the waning moon. It looked harmless, cozy, and inviting.

  The door of the garden house opened, and the lights on the porch shone on a man and a woman in jeans and sweatshirts. They seemed to be talking to Lena, but Jess couldn’t make out their features.

  After a moment of hesitation, she hastened downstairs to her mom’s study to get the binoculars. On her return, she had to pause halfway up the stairs for a couple of breaths. When would her stupid heart improve?

  She held the binoculars to her eyes, but it was too late. The people had left, and the porch was dark again. Her hand trembled as she lowered the binoculars. Was she taking things too far?

  Maybe Lena had friends over. Normal people did that.

  Her gaze returned to her laptop, which still showed the prison’s website with Lena’s last name typed into the search field. She closed the lid with a snap.

  Time to go to sleep.

  The first rays of sunshine barely sneaked over the horizon, as Lena breathed deeply to center herself for her tai chi routine. She began with circular movements of her arms and went through a series of easy qi gong exercises. Icy dew prickled the soles of her bare feet and made her feel alive. Soon her muscles warmed up despite the early morning. As she was about to start the form, loud steps and heavy breathing interrupted her concentration.

  A sweaty and flushed Jess approached through the back gate. She wore the same training clothes as last time. She rested both her arms on the gate and tried to catch her breath for quite a long time. At last, she straightened and wiped her face with the hem of her T-shirt. The color of her cheeks was slowly fading to normal.

  Lena didn’t want to continue watching from afar without Jess knowing she was there. That would be creepy. But she didn’t want to ignore her either, as Jess didn’t look all that well. Maybe Maggie’s concerns about her exercising alone were justified. She walked over.

  “Good morning.”

  Jess twirled around and glared. “What are you doing here? Spying on me?”

  Not this conversation again. But Lena remembered Maggie asking her to show a bit of patience and refrained from rolling her eyes. Instead, she smiled. Or at least pulled up the corners of her mouth in a resemblance of a smile. “No spying going on here this morning. I was doing my tai chi routine. Best way to wake up.”

  “The Chinese thing where you move super slow, like a snail?” Jess tilted her head to her side. “Isn’t that for old people?”

  Don’t let her provoke you. Jess was probably embarrassed that Lena had seen her breathless. “It’s Chinese, yes. And everything is slow because the movements should strengthen your core muscles. It has all sorts of health benefits, and even elderly people can do it. Or maybe they get so old by doing it?”

  Jess snorted with laughter. The sound was one of the first genuine friendly reactions she’d shown Lena. “Touché. I haven’t seen anyone doing it outside of TV documentaries about China.”

  “Then you haven’t been to the right places. People all over the world do it. Everyone can benefit from core strength.” And relaxation and inner harmony. Especially you. Lena pressed her lips together. Instinct urged her to invite Jess to join her, but her mind held her back. She wasn’t so stupid as to want to spend more time with someone who didn’t care for her company.

  “Not everyone. I don’t think tai chi is what I need.” Jess shrugged.

  “What do you need?” Whatever form of exercise Jess was doing, she didn’t seem to be getting what she needed from it.

  Jess’s brows furrowed as she contemplated the question and she dropped her gaze to the ground. “If I only knew…” Without another word, she went past Lena toward the house.

  As soon as Jess was out of sight behind the vegetation, she slowed down. No need to stress her heart again.

  At the end of her short run, she had been out of breath and dizzy. Actually, it had been more fast walking than running, but that was even worse.

  Her method of training wasn’t working. Maybe she needed to try something else. Like tai chi? She laughed. Um, no. That didn’t sound like her at all.

  After checking on Ella, who still slept, she went to her room to shower and change. As she walked past the dresser, the blood pressure monitor drew her gaze.

  She’d somehow managed to ignore it since the day she’d moved in with her mother. Doctors really were the worst patients—not because they thought their bodies worked differently from other humans, but because they knew they didn’t.

  Sticking her head in the sand hadn’t got her anywhere before, and it wouldn’t help her now. Jess grabbed the device, shook it with a little more force than necessary, and blew on it to remove some of the dust. She closed the cuff over her left upper arm, then pressed the start button. The machine inflated until it seemed ready to burst. Or squash her arm. She wasn’t so sure that wasn’t the more likely outcome.

  Jess clenched her teeth. No wonder everyone had high blood pressure these days if the process hurt so much. The pain might even add another twenty or so to the count. She sighed when the cuff deflated and the numbers appeared on the screen.

  One eighteen over sixty-five. Pulse ninety-eight. Good enough. So her meds were working fine.

  She couldn’t get the thing off fast enough and shoved it on the dresser again.

  After she had showered and dressed in something that fit her current size better, she pondered her next move. She could search for Lena on the inmate list, which felt wrong, or she could go to the café and talk to some people there who knew her. That might still count as stalking but was slightly better. She’d pick a day when Lena was at the farmers market and go then. But who would go with her?

  She mentally went through her list of friends. Or rather, acquaintances. Most of them were colleagues she didn’t want to see right now because she couldn’t trust them to refrain from gossiping about her. Kayla would be the obvious choice, but she was busy with her day shifts and volunteering at the free clinic this week.

  Maybe Diana? They weren’t friend
s, but she was certainly funny enough to spend an afternoon with. Where had Jess put her number? She took her work bag from the closet and opened the outside pocket. Here it was. Right where she had left it.

  She took her phone out and was about to call when she saw the time. Half past six. She texted instead.

  Hey, Dr. Rock Chick. Got time for a chat?

  Not one minute later, the phone rang.

  “Didn’t we settle on first names after seeing each other naked?” The amusement was clear in Diana’s voice. “How are you?”

  “Fine. But recuperating is boring as hell.” Jess paced in the small room, wondering how to phrase an invitation. Why hadn’t she thought this through?

  “I can imagine. You don’t seem like the type to be happy about unpaid vacations and forced rest.”

  They both laughed, and Jess remembered her manners. “Sorry to bother you this early.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m on my last night shift. In about an hour, I’ll be off work for the next three days.”

  What a perfect coincidence. “Would you like to hang out with me one of those days? I’ve heard about a nice café I wanted to try out.”

  “Oh. Hold on a second.” Diana voice was muffled as she talked to someone in her vicinity.

  Jess suppressed a snort. Asking the girlfriend for permission?

  “Okay, sure. Not today, though. I need to catch up on sleep first. Tomorrow? Or the day after?”

  “Let’s say tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be fine and we can sit outside.” And Lena would be at the farmers market.

  Chapter Eight

  Lena sat on one of the strategically placed chairs between the flower beds. She wished she had more time to enjoy Maggie’s ample opportunities to sit and relax in her garden. With her sketchbook balanced on her thighs, she outlined the foxglove. If she was lucky, she would be able to color this sketch before her shift at Cashew Cult. She hummed as her favorite extra-fine pen flew over the paper. It had been over a week since she’d last been home and awake enough to try to sketch.

  The sound of her phone made her flinch. She wanted to ignore it, but it might be another client. She pulled the phone from her pocket.

  Unknown caller. Her pen slipped from her fingers and fell to the ground. Had her mother somehow gotten her new number? “Lena Walker.”

  “Hi, Lena, this is Rachel.”

  “Oh, hi.” Lena let out a shaky breath. “How are you?”

  “I’m fine.” But her tone belied her words; her friend sounded far from her usual cheery self. “I’m calling from my mom’s place. She had an accident. A car hit her when she was crossing the street. Broken hip and wrist. The idiot of a driver ran and left her there.”

  “Oh no, how is she?” Lena closed her sketchbook and clutched it against her chest.

  “Okay now, but she had to have an operation and a lot of physiotherapy.” Rachel sighed. “Her insurance is minimal. Now the bills are stacking up.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Lena could understand where Rachel was coming from. When her mother had broken both wrists in a drunken fall down the stairs, she hadn’t had insurance either. And Lena was still paying off the debt. Debt. Lena shuddered. “You’re calling about the loan, right?”

  “Yeah. I’m sorry. I know we have the rates and everything in writing, but I need to help my mom, and…” To her credit, she sounded genuinely sorry. Not that it helped Lena in any way.

  “It’s okay.” She had hoped to take on fewer clients in the evenings now she had all the regular bills under control. But not paying back the loan wasn’t an option. Rachel had helped Lena to start her business selling preserves at the farmers market.

  She swallowed. Twice. “Do you need everything at once?” She wouldn’t be able to make the payment, but maybe she could get another loan somewhere. The thought of the interest she would have to pay made her dizzy.

  “No, but maybe we can renegotiate the rates. How much can you pay?”

  Lena tried to calculate, but the numbers fled her mind like a swarm of frightened sparrows. “I need to check my bills. Can I call you back?”

  “Let’s talk on the next market day. I’m living with my mom again and can’t always pick up the phone.” Rachel sighed and didn’t elaborate. She didn’t have to. More than once, they’d talked about Rachel’s concern for her aging mother, who lived alone.

  “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? I need to check in with work first, pick up a few extra shifts.”

  “Thanks. Talk to you later.” Relief replaced the trepidation in Rachel’s voice as she said goodbye.

  Lena pushed the phone into her pocket, picked up her pen, and opened her sketchbook. She wanted to immerse herself in the sketch, where everything was beautiful and blooming and brilliant. But her fingers shook.

  Before she could draw another line, wet spots dotted the paper. She wiped the tears from her cheeks and packed up her sketching supplies.

  Striding back to the house, she bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. But it was no use. Her vision blurred, and she walked blindly down the path.

  Until she ran into a soft obstacle that immediately started cursing. “Can’t you watch where you’re going?” Jess pushed her away and held her at arm’s length. “Are you…are you crying? Did I hurt you? I’m sorry.” The last words were a whisper.

  “No. Yes. No.” Lena shook her head to clear it. “I’m sorry. Let me go. Please.”

  Without discussion, Jess let go of her arm and took a step back.

  Lena fled before she could embarrass herself even more.

  The café was nicer than expected but lacked organization. The outside seating was scattered around a couple of trees, and Jess clearly saw a more efficient placement of the tables and chairs to maximize space and serve more customers. But at least she had enough room next to the table to park Ella’s stroller.

  It was their first outing as mother and daughter, but Jess had no time to stress about that as she concentrated on keeping up a conversation with Diana as well as thinking of ways to find out more about Lena.

  She rolled the little cookie that had come with her decaf coconut latte between her fingers.

  Coconut. She couldn’t believe that neither her mom nor Lena had mentioned the café was vegan. And the waitress had reassured her that the cookie was gluten-free, not that she had asked. She usually enjoyed her gluten-filled pleasures with real milk.

  Was Lena vegan too? Could vegans be criminals? As long as they didn’t use a horse to flee, they could probably still rob a bank. Or old widows like her mother.

  A waving hand appeared between her eyes. “Hey, Jess. You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?”

  Oops. Maybe she hadn’t been as successful as she’d thought in keeping up with the conversation. She set the cookie on the saucer again. Gluten-free or not, she was on a diet. “Sorry. Just… It’s the first time I’m out with Ella.” Good. Babies were a wonderful excuse.

  “It’s fine. I told you work was boring, but you asked about it anyway.” Diana smiled and gestured to the stroller. “She’s super cute. Isn’t it nice to have some extra weeks at home with her, no matter the reason?”

  That was a very glass-half-full approach to her cardiac situation. One she hadn’t even considered. “I like your way of thinking. It’s not what I had planned, though.”

  Diana took a bite of her vegan carrot cake and nodded. “You said the same thing before she was born. What were your plans?”

  Did she want to go there with Diana, someone from work? Maybe the short version would do. “Usually, I’m very organized, and even before I got pregnant, I had a schedule worked out and dates set for the C-section and when I would return to work afterward.”

  “You returned early, didn’t you?”

  Jess shrugged. “My boss was desperate to get me back. And I never expected thi
s illness to throw a wrench in my plans and ruin my fitness.” She grinned. “But you’re right. It does have some unexpected positive side effects. The time with Ella is wonderful.”

  “And you’re looking great. How are you doing?”

  The waitress showed superb timing in interrupting them before Jess needed to come up with an answer. “Is everything okay? Can I bring you anything else?” She smiled encouragingly.

  Jess was tempted to order one of the many baked goods that smelled so delicious, but the tight fit of her jeans reminded her why she needed to remain strong. She was about to send the waitress away but then remembered her mission. “Everything is great. But…I was wondering about the other woman I saw working here recently. Her name is Lena? Is she here today?”

  “Lena? No. Did you have a problem?” The waitress frowned and swiped a few of her long braids behind her ear.

  “No, no problem. We were talking about, um, a recipe. For, um, jam.” Wasn’t that what her mom had said Lena made for the market?

  “Oh, her preserves are excellent. We even sell them in the café. She works here most days. Maybe you can come back tomorrow. That’s typical of Lena, promising you the recipe instead of selling you her product. She is much too nice and has absolutely no business sense.” She said the last bit as if it were a compliment.

  Maybe it was in a hippie vegan café. “So she’s nice to everyone?”

  “Oh, yeah.” The waitress warmed to the topic and nodded vigorously. “Last week, we had an awful customer, super demanding. She made Ethan cry. Lena comforted him, talked to her, and solved the problem. I have no idea what she said. Ethan couldn’t hear her because she never raised her voice, not like the customer did. But the woman seemed to be happy in the end. She left a big tip. Lena took over his tables for the rest of the shift because he was too distressed to work, but she gave him all of the tips, and he said it was a lot.”