Heart Failure Read online

  “Hi, come in.” Lena’s stomach growled. “I hope you want to share. Otherwise this is just cruel torture.”

  Maggie chuckled. “I made them for us. Do you have time to eat with me?”

  “About thirty minutes until I need to leave. I have some preserves I made last week and some fruit. Is that okay?” She didn’t have much more to offer since today was her shopping day. She always exchanged some of her preserves for vegetables and cheese. The sellers at the farmers market looked after each other.

  “That sounds perfect.” Maggie carried the plate to the small semicircular table beneath the kitchen window and sat on one of the chairs.

  “You want coffee or tea?” Lena set the table, then checked the water kettle. Still hot.

  “Is the coffee Rachel’s? I can’t resist her roasts.”

  “What else?” Her friend often gave Lena her leftovers, and Lena appreciated the quality, even if she seldom drank the stuff herself.

  “Will you get me some today? I’m almost out.”

  “Sure.” Lena inhaled the fresh scent of ground coffee as she measured a generous portion into the French press. “Do you want me to pick up anything else?” She carried the coffee to the table and took her seat opposite of Maggie.

  “No, thank you. I put an order in at the cooperative, and they’ll deliver later. Jess never learned to cook and lives on takeout or crackers and cheese. I want to reintroduce that girl to healthy eating so she can store up a few vitamins that don’t come from a pill.”

  Lena took one of the scones and buttered it before adding a spoonful of her strawberry peppermint preserve. “She doesn’t look unhealthy to me, just exhausted. This morning I saw her running.”

  “What? Where?” Maggie paled, and her scone fell to her plate. “Oh, sorry, but…she shouldn’t be working out alone.”

  “Why? I saw her in the garden when I got up for tai chi.” It was the safest neighborhood Lena had ever lived in, and she had never heard anyone say you shouldn’t jog alone.

  “She had… Before she came to live here… I shouldn’t tell you, but…” Maggie’s lip trembled, and tears sprang to her eyes.

  Lena took the older woman’s hand. “Is it because of her illness?”

  Maggie swallowed and wiped her eyes with her free hand. “It’s so unexpected. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but Jess is extremely private and it’s not my place to tell. Let me just say, she needs rest and to get away from all the stress.”

  “Let me know if I can help in any way.” Lena was no fan of getting sneered at, but she wanted to support Maggie. And her daughter obviously did need some help. Lena wouldn’t say so aloud, but Jess Riley didn’t appear to be someone who had taken rest and stress-free living to heart. Every time they met, she could feel waves of annoyance and anger emanating from her.

  “Thank you. I think it would be enough if you keep an open mind about her. I know she sometimes comes across as abrupt and a bit rude, but when you get to know her, you see that she isn’t like that at all. I think she could use a friend.” Maggie picked up her scone again and bit into it with renewed appetite.

  Lena closed her mouth with a snap when she noticed it hanging open. A bit rude was the understatement of the day, probably the year. She swallowed her reply. She wouldn’t get between mother and daughter, especially if Maggie was blinded by maternal instinct. She would keep her distance, and if a miracle happened and penguins could fly, she might end up being friends with Jess.

  “I’m no better than a spy. Or a stalker.” Jess hid behind the shades in Ella’s room as her mom and Lena walked arm in arm to the stonier section of the garden.

  Ella burped. That might translate as “Yes, Mom, you are. Why are you doing this?”

  She held Ella up to her left shoulder and patted her back. “I don’t know, but something is wrong with that Lena. Why would she spend her free time with a woman twice her age?”

  Now her mom was showing Lena several green plants, not even blooming ones. “Is she really interested in gardening, or is this a kind of game to gain access to a rich old woman?”

  Her mom was far from frail or forgetful, but maybe the intruder didn’t know that.

  Without warning, her mom straightened up and looked at the house; it seemed as if her gaze bored right into Jess.

  She took a step back. “Whoa, that was close. Do you think she saw me?”

  Ella squirmed on her shoulder for a few seconds, then cried once.

  “Okay, okay. I’m finding something else to do.” She sniffed at Ella’s behind. “Maybe clean you up?”

  Jess went to the dresser on the other side of the room. The wooden surface had once displayed her collection of track trophies, but now it served as a changing table. A soft towel was spread on the top, and her mom had decorated the board above it with a mobile. Plush animals in oversized, striped swimsuits danced around a wide, grinning sun. Silly. Who thought of these things?

  Everything she needed was stored in the topmost drawer: wipes, lotion, diapers, and Ella’s clothes. It wasn’t convenient, unlike the cleverly designed changing station she had at her condo, but it wasn’t her intention to use it any longer than necessary.

  She gave the mobile a push so it twirled, and Ella tried to follow with her gaze. Those light-blue baby eyes were so huge and full of wonder that these animals danced only for her. Maybe they aren’t that silly after all.

  She cleaned and changed Ella, then picked her up to pace the room again.

  Eight steps from door to window, ten steps from bed to closet. How often had she walked the same path in her teenage years? She had been a trapped tiger, waiting to jump the cage and explore the world. Posters of models and actresses had stirred in her a longing she couldn’t name. She had thought she wanted to be like them, look like them. A goal unachievable for a lanky, dark-haired teenager who more closely resembled the androgynous guys accompanying the women in some of those pictures.

  Now she knew she had wanted to be with the women.

  But that hadn’t worked out so well. At all. She’d never had problems meeting women or even getting second or third dates. The problems always started when they demanded more of her time than she was able to give. No one understood medicine had to come first.

  Well, now that Ella came first and medicine a close second, her chances of finding a wife weren’t improving. She’d be forever alone and have to turn to her mother for help like a teenager. Would she ever be fit enough to return to her condo? What if her heart failure wouldn’t improve? Then she’d always have to depend on help.

  Heat shot through her, and her breath caught. Trapped. She was trapped in this weak body and this tiny room.

  Ella squirmed in her arms and cried.

  Jess took a few deep breaths to calm herself. Her chances were very good for a full recovery even if nothing in medicine was ever one-hundred percent. She needed to find ways to relax soon. She shouldn’t project her stress onto Ella.

  Her gaze went back to the window. The roof of the garden house and part of the patio were visible, but trees and shrubs hid the rest. That was an oasis, with several rooms and enough space to pace. Jess’s place was out there and not in this tiny room.

  Everything came back to Lena. Jess didn’t share her mom’s trust in Lena at all. She needed more information, and the first step would be to talk to her mom and see what she knew. If something wasn’t right, she would prove it. She owed it to her mom to protect her.

  Having a plan settled her, and Ella calmed down as if she agreed.

  After the woman had moved out, she’d redecorate the garden house, and it would feel like a home, something she’d been searching for since she left med school.

  “Perfect solution.” Jess grinned. “Don’t you agree, honey?”

  Ella only yawned. But what did she know?

  The minute her mom returned from the garden
, Jess went downstairs, baby monitor tucked into her waistband. Had her mom been baking again? Scones had tempted her yesterday, and today cinnamon filled the air. Her stomach growled. But whatever it was, she’d better stay far, far away from it. Carbs weren’t her friend right now.

  Unfortunately, she found her mom in the kitchen, arranging cinnamon buns in a container. A couple didn’t fit, and she placed them on a plate. “Good morning. Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

  “Morning. Not yet. I’ll have a yogurt.” Her mouth watered at the sight of the fresh buns, but she opened the fridge and took out a container of natural yogurt. Boring stuff, but she wouldn’t get her figure back by indulging every time something smelled delicious.

  “Do you want some tea? I picked some fresh mint.”

  “Thanks.” If her mom was in the mood for pampering, it could only help her cause. Even if she could kill for a cup of decent coffee. But living without caffeine was supposed to be good for her heart. At least if she believed what she told her patients.

  While her mom prepared the tea, Jess sat at the wooden table in the window bay and ate a spoonful of yogurt. Ugh. Maybe a bit of honey? Honey wasn’t like sugar, right?

  She rolled her eyes and put the spoon down. Carbs were carbs. Maybe she wasn’t hungry enough if she was still so picky. And she hadn’t come to the kitchen for breakfast anyway. “Mom, I ran into your tenant yesterday. She was up early.”

  Her mom raised her eyebrows. “Why don’t you say Lena? Tenant sounds so impersonal.” She placed a steaming mug of tea in front of Jess, then sat down opposite with her own. She added a teaspoon of honey and offered the jar to Jess.

  Sighing, she shook her head. Had her mom read her thoughts? Focus on the conversation, Jess. “Yeah, fine, Lena. Don’t you think it’s strange she’s out early every day?”

  “Like you were? She told me you met, and you had exercised. Should you be alone while doing it?” She managed to sound nonaccusatory, just concerned, but she still induced an immediate guilty conscience in the way only mothers could.

  Jess winced. She should take notes to learn the skill herself before Ella reached puberty. “I wasn’t doing anything strenuous.” Not a complete lie—it wouldn’t have been strenuous if she’d retained a fifth of her old fitness level. Best to leave this topic and seek another way to learn more about Lena. “Has she been living here for long?”

  “Almost a year, maybe ten months or so. Since I renovated the garden house.” Her mom blew over her mint tea and took a small sip.

  Now she mentioned it, Jess remembered her saying something about renovating and renting the garden house. But Jess’s mind had been on her midlife crisis and the idea she needed a baby, a family of her own, someone to love and cherish. She had avoided really talking to her mother ever since because she’d been afraid she wouldn’t understand or approve. No wonder she had missed the news about someone living here.

  Again, guilt scratched on the door, but Jess refused to let it in. This talk wasn’t about her failures as a daughter. The purpose was to gather information.

  Jess leaned back in her chair. “How did you find Lena?”

  “I shop at her stall at the farmers market, and she had put up a sign that she was looking for a place to live as soon as possible. She told me she couldn’t stay at her old apartment any longer.”

  Now they were getting to the good stuff. “What happened at her last apartment? Why did she have to leave?”

  “Oh, that was bad. Her roommate wanted her to pay extra because she didn’t like Lena’s job, so she couldn’t afford the place anymore.”

  That story seemed highly suspicious. Jess stared into her tea as she thought about her next question. Her mom had left the leaves on the stalk, and it looked like limp seaweed. Not very appealing. She preferred her drinks from a reliable source, not homegrown. It smelled refreshing, though. She took a sip. Not too bad. “Why is a job at the farmers market offensive? Does she sell fish?”

  “Oh, no, not that job. She teaches relaxation techniques too. She takes clients at home several evenings during the week. Her roommate knew about it beforehand but changed her mind later. Now that Lena lives in the garden house alone, that isn’t a problem anymore.”

  Relaxation techniques? What did that even mean? And strangers were coming and going through the garden in the evenings? That didn’t sound like a great idea. Jess could almost feel her blood pressure rise as she thought about it. Her mom was too trusting. “Why does she have two jobs?” Was working at the market a cover for shady activities in the evening?

  “She actually has three.” She held up her hand and counted them on her fingers. “Farmers market Thursday and Saturday, teaching on various evenings, and she works at a cute organic café almost every day.”

  Her mom went on about the virtues of the café, but Jess wasn’t listening anymore. It sounded like a bunch of hippies had opened a place to hang out, nowhere she intended to visit.

  The answer to what was wrong with Lena was obvious. Money must be a major problem. Did her mother even get a security deposit? Did she check the woman’s credit status? Probably not. She had seen a friendly face and someone in need and had reacted. The next thing Jess knew, Maggie would be paying Lena’s bills and writing checks for special projects.

  Jess needed to find out more about the activities at the garden house and Lena’s financial situation before her mother got drawn in too deep.

  Chapter Seven

  Lena pedaled the last few yards up the drive, then swung down and stretched. Finally. Her legs felt every one of the three miles from the bus after the long day at the café. But when the car wouldn’t start this morning, she’d had no other choice.

  She pushed the bike through the gate and behind the garage. As she turned the corner, the sight of Jess nearly made her groan. She was too tired for this.

  For once, the woman didn’t appear imposing. Her upper half had disappeared behind the paper bin. She wore jeans that hugged her curves.

  Lena stumbled and caught herself before falling headfirst into the compost bin; she’d grazed one of the stones bordering the narrow lane. “Shit.” She should have watched where she was going instead of ogling her rude neighbor.

  Jess jerked her head out of the paper bin with a crimson face.

  They stared at each other. What was happening? It wasn’t as if she had disturbed Jess doing something embarrassing. “Um, hi.”

  Jess looked at her and at the paper she was clutching in her hand. “Hi.” She stuffed whatever she had rescued from the bin into her pocket. “I, ah, I lost a phone number I noted on an envelope. From…from a friend.”

  If Jess had said that without the blush and the panicked expression, it would have been a valid explanation. But something was off. Maybe it was something she wanted to keep hidden from her mother. Or a date. Not something that should concern Lena.

  “Okay. Glad you found it.” Lena walked past Jess, leaned her bike on the fence, and locked it with both chains. The thirty-year-old bike had been a yard sale find and wasn’t valuable, but it was the only one she had and her backup for the days her car acted up. At least during the summer.

  “Yeah. I, um, need to go.” Jess hurried up the path that led to the main house. After a few steps, she stopped and looked over her shoulder. “Where did you come from? Work? Do you always work that late?”

  Since when did Jess show an interest in her day? But Lena had nothing to hide, and the flustered version of the usually overconfident Dr. Riley was oddly endearing. “I picked up a double shift at the café today. The other waitress flaked out.” Even though she was so tired she could fall asleep on the spot, she was still happy to have put in the hours. Now she could afford to get her car checked out.

  “Oh, you’re waitressing? Where are you working?” Jess’s blush had receded, and she studied Lena through narrowed eyes.

  “Cashew Cult. It’s
an organic café close to the farmers market.” Lena shifted from one foot to the other under Jess’s intense gaze. When she didn’t say anything and seemed to be waiting, Lena talked on. “They use local produce, and the food is delicious. Especially the cakes. But the evening food is great as well, a lot of Mediterranean and Middle Eastern stuff. You should check it out.”

  Oh no. Why had she invited Jess? The last thing she needed at work was a critical customer. But she believed in the quality of the food, even if serving it was far from her dream job.

  “Maybe I’ll have to see for myself. Sooner or later I have to go out in public with Ella.” When she mentioned her daughter’s name, Jess’s face softened. A hint of the attractiveness Lena had seen in the hospital popped up like the first shoots of green after a long winter.

  “Good idea. You wouldn’t be the only mother with a stroller. Is Ella doing better?” Maybe Lena could get her to warm up a little if they talked about her daughter.

  “What do you mean?” Jess tensed like a cat about to pounce.

  “I saw you two a few nights ago in the garden. She seemed to be having difficulty going back to sleep. The poor girl sounded unhappy about something.”

  “Oh, that.” Jess relaxed again. “She’s better now. I switched to a different formula. She seems to love it.”

  “Glad to hear it.” Lena wanted to prolong the conversation now she’d found a topic that didn’t lead to immediate antagonism, but she was ready for a hot shower. And she had to hurry because she expected her clients soon. She freed her bag from the bicycle rack. “I’m sorry, but I need to go. See you around.”

  Jess nodded and strode off toward the main house without a backward glance.

  Lena followed more slowly, feeling every stone dig into her soles as if she was walking barefoot on the gravel. She so wanted to rest her feet for a few minutes, but she had bills to pay.

  Ella was finally fed, changed, and cuddled back to sleep. Jess hadn’t had a minute for herself since she’d returned to her room. She wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep like her daughter, but she still had work to do.